When I grow up...

So…what do you want to be when you grow up? Really, you say,
would somebody actually ask that…at your age? My immediate
response, sad but true, was “Been there, done that, not going there
again”…oops!

Now of course since the question was asked by a smooth-talking,
confident, legally trained and politically minded, Italian male I might
have immediately suspected – it was a pick-up line, that he just
always wanted to say that to someone or he was angling to get me
on board with some or other agenda… or all three. So you see, my
reflex defence mechanism is in place for good reason…we are both
politicians after all and I mean that in the nicest way! When you
know what you’re dealing with you expect nothing more and nothing
less and you are unlikely to be disappointed...that’s my philosophy
anyway!

Getting back to the “been there…”comment for a minute…because
actually, that was not just me thinking I was clever or a quick
defensive quip…I really meant it. Maybe, because I, am doing life
backwards! I think…I was born ‘grown-up’, feeling responsible for
everyone and everything around me… and just when I give myself
permission to not take myself so seriously I do not want to hear
about ‘growing up’.

If that sounds confusing then you may like this advice - it works
for me: “you don’t have to understand something or someone
to enjoy them!” I may be quoting myself here…or did I read it
somewhere…then again…does it even matter?

In “The Road Less Travelled”, a book I found interesting, M Scott
Peck talks about understanding and growth in this way:

“Seek greater understanding, but do not expect greater detail.
There are many who, by virtue of their passivity, dependency, fear
and laziness, seek to be shown every inch of the way and have it
demonstrated to them that each step will be safe and worth their
while. This cannot be done. For the journey of spiritual growth
requires courage and initiative and independence of thought
and action…no teacher can carry you there. There are no pre-
set formulas. Rituals are only learning aids, they are not the
learning…no words can be said, no teaching can be taught that will
relieve spiritual travellers from the necessity of picking their own
ways, working out with effort and anxiety their own paths through
the unique circumstances of their own lives toward the identification
of their individual selves with God.”

Lots of words often mean lots of error but much of this has
challenged me in the last few years and I am grateful I got to read
them. I feel better too, about not wanting to be ‘shown every inch
of the way’…I like the idea of just needing courage and initiative’ for
one day at a time.

I do remember choking a bit on the ‘lazy’ part but it is so true – we
may not be lazy in every area of our lives but where the wheels come
off I have started to see the connection. I had never considered
before the concept of being lazy in certain relationships or people
being lazy in thinking for themselves…it explains a lot!

OK…maybe I will think about growing up…and even consider the
possibility of life after parliament…but only think about it…ok!